What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't deserve a penis
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
