just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
