hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
