Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
