i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
