What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
