she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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