I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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