In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
