arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
