im holly from the hills drunk
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
