obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I understand Curling. That high.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
