he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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