Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
