You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
