I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
