I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
