So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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