i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
