I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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