so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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