Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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