So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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