sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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