You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
