its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
