if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
