I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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