Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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