On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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