sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
