Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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