Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I died a long time ago.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
