The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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