You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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