On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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