Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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