Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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