I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize