I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
