Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
