Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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