god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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