so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
