I wannas sexs uuuuu
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
