If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
