I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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