4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
