The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
