Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
