check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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