I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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