I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
