he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
