Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
