he puts the penis in happiness.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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